How to Make Characters Relatable

It's Dan today and I'm here to talk about a tricky element of writing: making characters that are relatable to the reader. This might be more of a "Writing Craft 202" issue, for those writers who pass the 101 class, where one learns how to write coherent sentences and the basic structure of a story.

Among my agented friends, the old chestnut "I didn't connect with the main character" seems to be a reason for editor rejections. Let's ignore the possibility that this is publishing industry speak for I don't want it but don't have a specific reason, and discuss how to tackle the problem.

What Makes Characters Relatable?

I don't claim to be an expert in this, so I'll defer to Ben Bova:

"The protagonist must be admirable, or at least likable, but he should have at least one glaring weakness." -Ben Bova

Fundamentally, relatable characters are ones that we care about. Some things that might make me care about a character include:

• Admirable qualities, such as courage, intelligence, honesty, and work ethic. (Example: Ned Stark from A Game of Thrones)
• Sources of pain and suffering, be they physical or emotional or both. (Example: Harry Potter)
• Strong motivation and proactivity (Example: Katniss from The Hunger Games)
• Feelings and emotions that leap off the page (Example: Tris from Divergent)

I'll admit that the last one, item #4, is where I struggle the most. I'm an action guy: my characters are more likely to take a swing at something than sit around and think about their feelings. But I have it on good authority that my co-bloggers are experts at this sort of thing, so I look forward to their takes on it.

How Do You Make Your Characters Relatable?

It's your turn! What makes characters more relatable to you? How do you go about writing them?

Lisa: Please don't make them perfect in every way then realize too late that you've done this and give them a freckle on their nose that they whine about in order to make them less perfect.
My favorite characters are hard to like because they're so very flawed. Yet, it's impossible to not like them because you've made them so realistic. Just be wary, all personality flaws need to have a background or else you risk losing  readers' "I like this character even though she's a _____" exception.
My go-to for a character, especially a main character, is interviews. You need to ask your character a hundred questions, and have them answer in first person even if you're writing in 3rd person. You figure out your character's motivations, big or small, idiosyncrasies, etc. when you do this.

Caitlin: My husband and I were just watching old episodes of Arrested Development and we were talking about why the new version felt flat with us (and many other people). In the original, Michael and his son, George Michael, are relatable. They have flaws, for sure. Michael can sometimes be a little bit selfish (though nothing like his other family members) and George Michael is hopelessly awkward. But they have desires and cares and are trying to be their version of a good person. So, it doesn't matter that the rest of the characters in the show are completely unrelatable because they are ridiculously self-centered. We can hold on to Michael and George Michael, who aren't so hopeless, and laugh at the ridiculous situations. But, in the second one, when those characters weren't the center and were portrayed as pretty ridiculous themselves, then there was no footing.


So, I think a relatable character is someone who's trying to be a better person, even though they often fail at it. Now, a "better person" can mean a lot of different things depending on a character’s and world’s values, so you don't have to have a super warm and fuzzy character, but if the character isn't somewhat aware of his or her faults, and actively trying to combat those faults, then it would be pretty boring to follow them around for a whole book.

Karlie: For me, a character becomes relatable when they start fighting for something other than their own life/desires. Or when they mess up seemingly beyond the point of no return. I can relate to both those things, and it makes me sympathize with them. Honestly, I think everyone relates to things differently. And this is digressing somewhat, but I have the opposite problem you do, Dan - my characters tend to sit around and reflect way too much! So I think it's finding that balance between the characters realizing what the problem is and acting to fix it.

The most important thing I've "discovered" as a writer

Hi, everyone. It's Lisa on the spot today.

There are some invaluable things writers have discovered, lessons we have learned. I believe we should share with some of our less experienced writers, or even the experienced ones who just haven't had the fortune to stumble upon the "great thing" that you have.

For some people, it's a certain outlining software. For others, it's a valuable lesson learned about plots. We might like to hear your very valuable lesson.

My most important thing is meditating. It slows your brain, makes you see clearer. Makes you understand things about your characters/story that you couldn't understand before.

What is your most important thing? Why?

Dan: I'd say the most important thing I've learned is the importance of building relationships with other writers who are near your level. This is different from networking or building a following, but rather a handful of close writer confidantes. Writing is a tough business to be in, and there's always a temptation to shout your discontent from the mountaintops of blogs and social media. That's rarely a good idea. If you have close writer friends who understand the struggle, you can talk (rant) to them in private channels without the worry of a PR fallout. If and when you finally do have some success, your close writer friends will also become your staunchest supporters. In short, a good friend is worth his or her weight in gold.

Caitlin:  Both good points! I think the most important lesson to learn, and that I still often need to remind myself, is that every writer has to find and then follow his/her own path. Sure, a famous author got that way by doing X, Y, Z. Or maybe one of your Twitter friends is having success with A, B. and C, etc. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do A, B, C, X, Y, and Z. Some or all of those letters might not be right for you, and that's okay! :)

When You Have No Time to Write

I’ll admit, life has been throwing me a few curveballs lately! They aren’t necessarily bad curveballs (and could even be great curveballs) as long as I can hit them correctly. But, hitting them just right requires a lot of time, energy, and focus. (And I’ll also admit that I don’t know much about baseball, so I hope that analogy works!)

While those curveballs are taking a huge toll on my writing time, I’ve also realized that it’s during the somewhat tumultuous times that I need writing the most. The creative release helps me refocus and re-energize.

But where to fit it in amongst all these other tasks and concerns? I usually type, but I’ve since bought a small notebook that I carry everywhere so I can write whenever I’ve got a moment. Just this morning, on my commute, I sketched out a new outline (which I fleshed out in my head while falling asleep/taking a shower/walking around, etc.) that I’m pretty excited about! So even if I haven’t been able to get lost for hours in a world (something I love doing), I still have ideas percolating and I’m getting things down.

What do you do to fit in writing even when the rest of life demands a lot of you?

Dan: Finding time to write got more complicated when I had kids, which should surprise exactly no one. Now, I usually make time first thing in the morning or after they've gone to bed. It's tough, because the morning time is limited and the night time has me fighting against the urge to sleep. But I agree, it's good to keep going even when life gets crazy.

I'm a big fan of the notebook and pen method. Not only can you carry a notebook and pen just about anywhere, you can often get away with using them to write/outline/plan without being obviously-on-the-computer. It's useful for finding little moments of downtime and getting down ideas when they strike.

Lisa: This is the prompt I needed this week. Your notebook advice is most welcome, Dan and Caitlin. I've been so sad and disturbed about my lack of writing time lately, and I was just trying to figure out how I'm going to juggle it all. And the "all" I'm talking about are very necessary and desired parts of my life. I've nearly cut out all of television, though I could finish cutting the rest of that out. It does nothing for me, not even in the storytelling/research department. I am realizing I'm no longer taking anything in, just entertaining myself. And really, it'd be so much better (and efficient) to entertain myself in my own stories. So, that's my advice, cut down on television and the time you cut will surprise you as far as how much you can put toward your writing. And I'll use the above advice - take a notebook with me. Which I do already, but it had become more of an inactive object rather than an active writing device. It was for "if I think of something" instead of "so I can think of something." Also, I've been wasting a lot more time on social media than I used to. I realize that writers need to stay involved in that department, but if I'm not writing anything, there'll be nothing for followers to read eventually. Writing is more important.

Hero…or Not?

Today I want to talk a little about heroes and villains, and our perceptions of them as readers. We look at the antagonist of the story as the bad guy, and the hero as the one who saves the day, right? Well, did you ever hear the saying, "The victor writes the history books"?

Think of it this way: Each antagonist is the hero of his or her own story, and the hero is the villain. It's all subjective to perspective. It's been said that you can never create a truly rounded bad guy until you've considered this.

We tend to forgive the hero of a little more than we should - he is "forced" to kill, to steal, to destroy, but we sympathize with him because it took such a huge toll on him, right? But the villain does the exact same and it's an excuse for us to condemn him a little more. We distinguish between the two by their motivations, their conscience, and their actions.

But like I said, it's a well-known fact that the victor writes the history books.

So before you pick up a pencil and draw evil eyes and a swirling mustache, think about it from his perspective. If you can bring out the hero in the antagonist and the villain in the protagonist, you've created characters - and by proxy, conflict - that will stay with the reader long after they've closed the book.

Readers, what are your thoughts? Writers, what are your experiences with the hero and the villain?

Lisa: I have never thought of a villain in that way, being the hero in their own story. I have considered motivations for what they do, etc., just never considered just how justified they feel when they're creating havoc. My problem is that I feel like I create a well-rounded villain in my character study, but those details never find a way into the story. Hopefully, readers get a sense of their justification...but who knows?

Caitlin: I have a hard time accepting a story where the villain isn't at least a little good. Maybe I'm too pollyanish, but I just don't believe that anyone is 100% bad. Even the absolute worst people in our societies often have severe psychological problems and rough environmental factors that contribute to what they do. Does this mean they should be absolved of all crimes? I definitely don't think so, but realizing that they are human too, and trying to understand them, is interesting to me. And, ultimately, I think that's why I read and write, because I enjoy trying to understand various aspects of humanity. So, yes, heroes need some villainous traits and villains need some heroic traits.

Dan: I'm certainly a fan of certain anti-heroes -- like Locke Lamora and House M.D. -- whose status as the protagonist lets us forgive them for acts for which we'd curse a villain's name. I certainly do love villains whose complexity and moral ambiguity makes them unpredictable. I almost enjoy the unexpected heroic moment of a villain more than I enjoy it for the protagonist.

Another reality of the modern world is that there's not always a right or wrong: gray areas (in law, in ethics, etc.) can encompass a lot. Not everything is black and white, and as Karlie pointed out, much of history was told by one side (often in their own favor).

Developing Character Relationship Arcs

Hello, it's Dan today and I'm here to share some relationship advice. Not in the way you think. I'm talking about making character relationships dynamic in fiction.

Books and classes for new writers often focus on the character arc as one of the most important elements of story structure. There is good reason for this, of course: we want to see our characters change enough so that they are not the same people we met at the beginning of the book.

There's another important character-related arc in fiction, however, and that is the dynamic nature of a relationship between two characters. A relationship arc, if you will. In the romance genre -- which I confess I do not read nearly as much as my co-bloggers do -- the character relationship arc is often more visible than individual character arcs. Will they get together, or won't they?

Another popular type of character relationship arc is the "cop buddy" drama, which pairs up a team of unlikely partners (e.g. detectives with completely different styles) with a common mission. The mismatch produces conflict right away and keeps the tension high until that satisfying moment when the two partners finally become pals. At which point they usually start kicking ass and taking names.

There are other kinds of character relationships to be exploited or to change in storytelling:

• Friends become enemies, or enemies become friends
• Student-teacher or acolyte-mentor relationships
• Rivals forced to become allies, or vice-versa

Now it's your turn: what kind of character relationship arcs do you enjoy reading or writing?

Lisa: I like enemies or opposites who are forced to be together, hence forced to learn more about each other, which leads them to a truce. There's always room for comedy there, and I like for there to be almost as much comedy as there is drama in a book. But I do hate the obvious routes: the cheerleader and the goth girl. I like to think of "couples" who you'd never think of having so much conflict, but once you see them together, you're like: Oh yeah, I guess they actually would have a hard time getting along.

Karlie: Like Lisa, I prefer the more subtle opposition - not the really obvious clashing characters. I also like the idea of allies turning into rivals - there's so much to explore there. Better yet, let's put a different spin on "girl meets guy, hates guy's guts, falls in love" angle. In one of my novels, a girl is forced to work with a man who committed terrible atrocities against her family, but as the book goes on, the things revealed show that he might not be to blame for what he did. She falls in love with him but part of her is always remembering the man he used to be, and it eventually drives them apart. So I love that kind of conflict - emotionally torn in two with very good reasons for both sides.

Caitlin: I really like it when you have two characters in a romance and you think, how is this going to work!? Not because of personalities, so much, but because of the situation. Kate Sherwood's The Mark of Cain comes to mind. Cain killed Mark's brother in a bar, before he even knew Mark. When Cain is released from jail, Mark and his family are devastated. I'll admit for the first 30% or so of the book I kept reading simply because I was thinking "How is Kate Sherwood ever going to pull this off?" But in the end it's a really adorable romance and you're rooting for both characters to get over that whole killing thing and fall in love already, because they're perfect for each other.

Book Covers

Caitlin here. Writers hear it all the time. This business is subjective. One person’s favorite book may be another person’s most hated book. And yet another person might shrug and think that book was just okay.

Well, the subjectivity doesn’t stop with just the finished book; book covers can also entice love/hate/eh reactions. This can be frustrating as an author because book covers are one of the most important elements in getting readers to say “hmmm…I want to check that out.”

I like to say I’m drawn to anything that’s stunning or quirky. But, hell, I’ll also go for a sexy cover, or a mysterious cover, or a humorous cover. So, really, I’m a horrible test subject. 

I even like these covers, which just use fonts and colors!

So, what about you? What kind of book cover piques your interest?  

Lisa: It's hard to say what makes me actually like a cover. I just know it when I see it. I have done tests on myself in book stores. Here's what happens: I keep my eyes down as I'm walking to a book shelf, then I look up and quickly note the books that catch my eye. In doing this, I've noticed that my eyes are drawn more to covers that have a dark color scheme. A lot of the time it's a darker scheme then a splash of bright color - it could be the title in bright yellow or  simply a white tree. As far as font, I tend not to be drawn to titles done in a script. Other than that, there is no rhyme or reason as to which book I end up purchasing. Sometimes the book I buy ends up not being one of the covers that caught my eye. Upon second or third look (and reading the back), I decided I'd rather have a different book with a less "popping" cover.

Dan: This is sort of embarrassing, but I do pay attention to covers. Especially when picking out a fantasy (big colorful scenes, with weapons and horses and possibly some kind of military banner) or a sci-fi (absolutely has to be a star-field background with exploding spaceships and "lasers"). It's not make or break, because I'll read the jacket copy and possibly check out reviews online. But covers matter, and I like the eye-catching ones.

I just learned recently that European releases often have different titles and different colors than we get in the U.S. Which I think is awesome -- I want the European version of all of my favorite SFF novels.

Karlie: I love covers with a steampunk element, and I also love black and white. I do prefer them to have a more modern look, like the first example featured on this post. Prime examples of my favorite covers ever: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and Cinder by Marissa Meyer.

I tend to not go for simplistic or clunky covers, but honestly, as long as the plot looks interesting enough, I'll pick them up too. :)

Dear Me

Hi! Lisa here.

There was a recent movement on Twitter for people to message their younger selves bits of advice, notes of encouragement, etc. I loved it, and decided that we writers should have one that pertains more toward our craft. What would you like to say to your younger, blossoming writer self?

Dan: I'd actually go back farther, and tell myself to get into writing sooner. I was always interested, but never buckled down and got serious until my late twenties. I didn't know how important it would become to me, nor did I recognize how long it would take to get to where I am now. Which, admittedly, is not really that far. I wish I'd started sooner.

The other bit of advice I'd offer my former self concerns critique partners. Now, I fell into an excellent writing group when I started out (the members of my fiction writing classes). We still critique short fiction for one another. But it took me a long time to realize that my novels could benefit from that kind of feedback, too. It's a lot more to ask of someone. It also requires finding the right partner for you and your writing. But CPs, once you find them, are worth their weight in gold.

Karlie: I would definitely tell my younger self to lay off the drama - looking through old manuscripts of mine always makes me cringe. Most of my stories read like soap operas then! Thankfully, with great advice from awesome betas like Lisa, I learned to tone it down and make it fit the story. Like Dan, I would also tell myself to write more. It took me awhile to really appreciate the wisdom of writing every single day, even if it was just a sentence or two.

Caitlin: I think it would be to tell myself to not be so afraid of being a bad writer. I've been into writing for a long time, but I think I could have been more prolific (and still could be), if I allowed myself more freedom to just "play." We all have limited time to devote to writing, so I never want to "waste" it, but I think that pressure of trying to only work on "worthwhile" projects actually hurts my productivity level. If I had figured this out a long time ago, maybe I would have written more.


Tell us what you think of our advice to our writerly selves. What's your advice to yourself?